“I knew something was amiss, but I’d never anticipated a paranormal problem. Undaunted by her pronouncement, I made yet another attempt at completing our nuptials. I failed once more; and I guessed I would continue to fail indefinitely. There was nothing I could do other than weep, while she soothed my brow and finally slipped out of bed to make a pot of tea. In her absence, I examined the apparatus of my defused ardour. Pale and shrivelled, it trembled with fright; my words of condolence couldn...’t rouse it from its abject state. Emily had ruined me with her infidelity. No longer a man, I reflected on this reversal of my fortunes, from power to infirmity, rapture to misery, in a single evening. In the deeps of my discarded trousers, a pocket watch chimed twelve; it was time to consider divorce, and I did so.But what could I tell the solicitor? After a traditional service in a gothic church, clever speeches from a selection of guests at a sumptuous reception and dancing on a floor made slippery with spilled champagne, I had become a genuine groom, frightfully eager to consummate my marriage.MoreLessRead More Read Less
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